We try to apply logic to the situation, and that helps. But most of us in the dating world find that we are perfecdy capable of making terrible mistakes and of caring quite deeply about someone who has few redeeming features or who just isn’t a good fit for us.

Friends can tell you what they believe about the situation and what they find is true for them; a therapist can tell you guidelines about relationships in general. Family members can tell you what they hope you will find in life.

What you need, though, is someone who knows your secrets, your emotional nature, your history of sabotage, your fear of intimacy, and your fear of winding up alone. You need someone who is absolutely and unreservedly on your side, who agrees that a solid, loving relationship is worth the quest.

In the pursuit of finding and nourishing love, you should take advantage of all the advocates, advisers, and supporters you can find, but the one resource you absolutely must take advantage of is your deeper mind.

This part of your psyche takes in volumes of information, even subtle or subliminal clues; it recognizes patterns sometimes in an instant; and it knows and understands your personality without judgment and the ways your quirks and your strengths impact your style of relating and your approach to love.

The bottom line is that the deeper mind is one of your most accurate and potent advisers, and it tends to speak to you through your dreams and your intuition.

The complete dream book of love and relationships by Gillian Holloway (PDF)