“Wishful thinking has not brought you love.
Neither has apathy, depression, denial, anger, panic, analyzing the problem, blaming the opposite sex, or cursing the bleak demographics.
So if you still want love in your life, the question is, what will bring you love?

Perseverance.
The way to achieve any goal is first to know what the goal is and then to proceed unswervingly toward it, patiently but persistently overcoming any obstacles that present themselves—with perseverance, tenacity, and determination.

Yet in spite of all our obsessing about the state of relationships today, perseverance is one of the rarest qualities to be found among singles. We’ve all heard about the tortoise and the hare, but we failed to learn the lesson of the tortoise. Instead, we dash about like the hare, trying relationships that don’t work, tormenting ourselves with theories, believing our excuses, following one false lead, and then another, and finally, like the hare, simply falling asleep in the middle of the race. Why?

Why do we long for love, yet fail to proceed in a determined fashion toward this goal? Why do we get sidetracked?

Ambivalence is one major reason. We aren’t sure which race we want to be in or whether we want to be in any race at all.

Is love worth it?
Am I better off alone?
Is there anyone out there I could even tolerate?
Will I lose my independence?
Will I be too vulnerable?
Will I have to compromise too much?
Is there anyone out there I could even tolerate?
Will I lose my independence?
Will I be too vulnerable?
Will I have to compromise too much?
Will my career suffer?

This book, If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? by Susan Page pdf,   is about perseverance. But we can’t talk about staying in the race until we talk about whether to race at all. That is the main stumbling block for most singles: not getting what we want in love, but knowing what we want. We keep ourselves from moving forward because we aren’t sure which way we want to move.

The most important prerequisite for finding a satisfying intimate relationship is wanting one. Wholeheartedly, genuinely, earnestly, single-mindedly, and without reservation.
If you sincerely want an intimate partner, you are already beyond the roughest hurdle. But if you aren’t’ altogether certain, then you need to take a close look at the issue of ambivalence and how to move beyond it.

Involuntary singles fall into two categories: singles who want a relationship but haven’t met the right person yet; and singles who, whether consciously or unconsciously, are ambivalent. Distinguishing between the two types is difficult because their language is identical. Both kinds say, “I really want a wonderful relationship in my life.” But the first type really means it. And the second type, as it turns out, doesn’t. What the second type actually means is something more like, I want a relationship, but equally or more important to me is

• not having to take risks
• progressing in my career
• hanging on to my great lifestyle
• avoiding pain
• keeping my secrets to myself
• proving I’m right that the opposite sex is the problem…..