Not every conversation can be pleasant and useful. What to do if your interlocutor is aggressive and obviously starts a war?   Lillian Glass, Ph.D.  in her book “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Verbal Self-Defense”  offers The Best Tactics for Verbal Warfare – read & learn! 

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1. Tension Blowouts—Breathe in for 2 seconds. Hold it 2 seconds. Blow until you run out of  air, thinking of what your enemy said to you. (Repeat three times)

2. Humor—Make a joke out of what they said or use a snappy comeback.

3. Love and Kindness—Be compassionate, open your heart, smile, and speak tenderly, kindly, and lovingly in soft and caring tones, never returning their verbal hostility.

4. Direct Confrontation—Let the person know that you don’t feel good about what they said or how they said it to you—that it bothered you. Use calm tones and say how it made you feel. Don’t blame or accuse them.

5. Calm Questioning—In calm tones, ask them logical questions about why they feel a certain way. Try to ask specific questions to which they will agree (answer “yes”). Ask a scries of questions that finally leads them to possibly seeing things from a different point of view, even changing their ideas.

6, Mirroring—Sometimes a taste of their own medicine may work. Give them back some of their own verbal medicine in the exact way they gave it to you.

7. Give ‘Em Hell and Yell—Open your mouth. Don’t hold back.
Let it roar!

8. Vicarious Fantasy—Imagine everything you would like to do to them. Never take physical action and harm them. Just fantasize! Then thinking of them, do Tension Blowouts to get them out of your mind.

9. Unplug—Let them out of your life. Get out of their lives. Don’t look back. Don’t contact them. Don’t allow them to contact you. It’s over! Finished! Tension Blowouts help keep them out of your mind.

Great Snappy Comebacks

1. Have you ever heard of the word class’? Of course not, you don’t have any!
2. I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception.
3. For a moment l didn’t recognize you, and it was one of the best moments I ever had.
4. Are you always this obnoxious or is this day special?
5. I hope you see a doctor—for your foot-in-the-mouth disease.
6. Did you bathe today?—because your manners stink!
7. You have a fine personality, but not for a human being.
8. Whatever’s eating you must he suffering from indigestion.
9. I don’t know what makes you tick, but I hope it’s a time bomb.
10. You need a checkup from the neck up!

Source: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Verbal Self-Defense by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.